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English: Downtown Long Beach, California at ni...

Long Beach, Ca

Some people “play hard to get” when another person is romantically interested in them. I have seen this ruin more relationships than anything else in the world. Men and women both do this. Nowadays it is considered completely inappropriate as I will discuss later in this post.  Please leave a comment on this controversial issue.

When I lived in Long Beach, California a young man and his girlfriend met in a cozy little café by the ocean. They had been dating for some time, but the girl decided it was time to play hard to get. She insisted that she was breaking up with him, when actually she wanted to marry him. After a long, heated discussion, he went out to his car, took a gun out of the glove box and shot himself dead. She was interviewed while she was crying hysterically on the sidewalk near the car. All she could say was “I loved him so much.”

I was rather close to a family who had a teenage son. His girlfriend broke up with him, apparently playing hard to get, and invited another guy to a party she knew her ex-boyfriend was going to. She flirted all evening with the new boy toy, making sure the boy she loved saw it, just to peak his interest in her and to make her more attractive to him. He went home and killed himself. Of course his family was devastated, apparently the girlfriend was too.

Most people don’t kill themselves when the person they like or love plays hard to get. But most feel terribly sad about it. The more a man/woman respects and admires another person, the more likely he/she is to quit dating when other plays hard to get. This is because if he thinks she is totally wonderful, he feels he doesn’t really have a chance for her anyway.

If a person does stick with a partner through this torture, it means he/she is very confident or knows all about mind games, or she doesn’t really think the partner is all that special anyway and keeps trying because it is not all that painful to do so.

Honesty is a very important aspect of good relationships. People who enjoy inflicting pain on their partner for their own gain will probably also be the type to punish their spouse severely for anything he/she considers less than proper treatment.

Many large companies tell their employees every year that they can only ask a coworker out twice, any more than that is considered completely inappropriate and can be considered sexual harassment.  After this training, many people don’t ask a person out more than twice, even if he doesn’t work at the same company, so if one is playing hard to get, the relationship ends dead in its tracks.

Most men I know respect a woman for asking him out before he asks her out. Ladies, you have been set free, you can choose the man you want, in the old days it wasn’t this way. When a woman chooses to take the subservient role and plays hard to get it is very confusing to men and I notice most men bail out these days because they expect equality.

Leave a comment, feel free to disagree with this post!


He may go shopping with you when you are dating, but don’t expect him to do it after you are married. He might, but then again, he probably won’t. If you want to get along well with your husband, your best bet is to marry a homosexual. Yes, I am saying this tongue-in-cheek.

I remember being in a department store on a Saturday and overhearing a male customer talking with the sales clerk who was female. The man said “I had to work 20 hours of overtime this week and now I have to spend my day off shopping!” The sadness in his voice was similar to someone talking about the loss of a loved one.

I recently talked to a single lady, on the other hand, that said the most fun she had recently was going shopping for clothes with two other ladies.

A man told me that he didn’t realize that his wife was so opposite him until he got married. She was totally opposite. She was a woman and he was a man!

Women tend to be indirect and men are more direct. For example, a married couple are driving down the highway and have been driving for several hours when they pass a fast food restaurant. A man will be focused on the goal, getting there. The wife might say, “Honey are you thirsty?” Without even thinking the man might answer “Nope.” He keeps driving.

She feels hurt because she wanted him to ask her if she is thirsty so they can stop for something to drink. Ladies, expecting your man to understand your indirect questions is like expecting your two year old to understand calculus. It ain’t gonna happen. What happens next is the lady feels angry because he should have known what she wanted.

I recently heard that 4 out of five divorces occur because the wife is mad as hell and is not going to take it any more. I’m pretty sure that 5 out of 5 women would say men are hard to get along with. The problem is that statistics show that about 75% of the time the next man is even harder to get along with.

Certainly us men need to learn to communicate better.