Do you wake up feeling sad?

Toxic Shame

Do you wake up in the morning feeling bad, feeling blue or feeling worn out? It could be sleep Apnea, but it could also be toxic shame. When you wake up feeling sad and your mind goes over failures and hurts of the past, that is toxic shame.

5 signs that you have toxic shame.

1. You see your failures as proof that you are a failure.

2. You forget what it means to be human.
You forget that everyone fails every day. That is just proof that they are human.

When we do something bad, we feel shame. But unfortunately most people are very good at feeling ashamed of themselves, many without even realizing it. The main point of the Christian faith is love. Another important point is forgiveness. Many don’t forgive themselves and live a life of quiet desperation. Many feel ashamed of who they are instead of what they have done.

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The Bible promises us that we will be forgiven if we confess our sins. After we confess, we should not be ashamed any more. But many people don’t accept the forgiveness that Jesus died on the cross to give us.

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Your mess is temporary. God is doing something wonderful in your life. Psalm 23 says “He restores my soul.” The soul is your mind, emotion and willpower. He will restore your emotions, making the sadness become joy.

3. You blame yourself for the bad things that happen.
Some say, “Oh, if I had been a better child, mom and dad might still be married.” Or, “If I had been a better person, that person would not have molested me.” Bad things happen to good people. Don’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life. Life is not fair, but God is fair. God will right your wrongs and work everything together for good if you love him. Romans 8:28.

4. You feel hopeless or depressed.
Many people see God as a tyrant who wants to punish us whenever we do wrong. But God loves us very much. He is not mad at you, he is madly in love with you. He is interested in every detail of your life. If you are interested in it, God is interested also. He is not out there waiting to punish you, he is there loving and adoring you. He loves you more than you can understand. Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again:Rejoice!” If God commands you to rejoice, it means he gives you the strength to do it.

5. You have addictions.

If you have toxic shame you will have addictions. It might be addictions to food, shopping, sex, approval addictions, alcohol, drugs, etc. Toxic shame comes from a lack of love. All addictions come from a lack of love. All addiction is an escape from the bottomless pit of your worthlessness. To heal your addiction, heal your toxic shame. How do you do it? Start by looking to Jesus and accept his love and forgiveness. Some addictions require a lot of help. For example Alcoholics Anonymous can help you be healed of an addiction to alcohol. If you want to get rid of addictions, read books about it, find help. Turn it over to God. He will help you. It may be very difficult to get rid of an addiction, but it is worth it.

Lack of love is the root of toxic shame and addictions.
Remember that God loves you and that is all that you need. The love of family and friends is very important also. But is it critically important to love yourself. Brian Tracy, a success coach, says that most people need to say “I like myself” once in awhile.

I wrote this while listening to a sermon by Bo Sanchez. It is a short synopsis of his sermon. Listen to it here on Youtube.

3 comments

Hey Brad this is some awesome stuff!! I am very happy that you connected your studies with the bible! I am interested to know more about your studies in preparation to writing this book! I am a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints right now until the end of 2015 😀 so I won’t be reading it in this up coming year that I may stay completely focused on my mission! But it is something I would love to read after!
Any ways I would love to talk about your studies and your beliefs in regards to happiness and God :D! We could even skype about it if your would like!!
Thanks for the post! Have a great New Year and hope your Christmas was lovely!!

Elder Vecchi

Brad Stanton says:

December 30, 2014 at 10:10 am

Wow, I’ll be praying for you in China. It is a great place to share God’s love. Yes, let’s keep in touch, I have skype but can’t remember my skype name.

Reply
- Anonymous says:
  
  January 4, 2015 at 3:33 pm
  
  Thank you! But why China? 😀 This is my email: Tvecchi1994@gmail.com please email me and we will talk there for now until you get your skype :D!!
  
  Reply