All my life I have enjoyed reading books about people that accomplished great things in life. When I was young, it was Davy Crockett, the great hunter and frontiersman of US history. I enjoyed reading about John Paul Jones, the navy captain that helped us get freedom from England. Then I went on to many dozens of books by people who had built large charities, businesses and ministries. I was always excited to learn how they did it.
Success in relationships is one area that almost everyone has interest in, because we all have relationships. Dr. Hew Lin, a psychiatrist who healed a ward of mentally ill criminals is one of my favorites because he explains how certain keys to success are good for relationships and everything else in life.
Love is a key to success
Dr. Lin summed up most of the advice I had read from many different authors in just a few sentences.
He said the most important thing is to restore ourselves back to love. I liked that because I know that love is the most powerful force in the universe and it does amazing things. He said one way to do it is to forgive all who have wronged us. He has a system of four short sentences that help us achieve this. Say four things:
I love you
Please forgive me
You don’t even have to say these sentences to the people you are thinking about. Just think them or say them out loud when no one is around. He says he healed many people this way as a psychiatrist. If your husband is mean and unfair, just repeat these four sentences over and over again for a couple of weeks and you will see a big difference.
How does it work?
I know it seems a little hard to believe that saying the four sentences will help. But if you have read many of my other posts, it explains why this works. Psychologists tell us that 80% of communication is nonverbal. That means that tone of voice, expressions and other things convey how we feel toward other people. They pick up on these cues in their subconscious mind.
It is more than just this, though. Jesus said love flows out of us if we believe in him. If we could open our spiritual eyes and see what is happening in the real world, we would see how powerful love is. When you send love to other people, it has a healing effect.
We are responsible for our lives
Dr. Lin also said we must acknowledge 100% responsibility for our lives. We can’t blame anything on anyone else. If our parents were brutal and psycho and it left us scared emotionally, we can’t blame them for our problems today. Every person in the world has experienced unfair situations. Some come out of it stronger, some allow it to destroy their happiness.
I have heard many successful people say that it is critically important to acknowledge 100% responsibility for everything in life. Most people don’t believe that is true and that is why they can’t build the life they want. This post is not for the unbelievers, only for those who believe they can have a better life. If you don’t believe it, you are right, it won’t help. Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way you are right.” He means if we believe we can do something, we can. If we believe we can’t do something, we are right, because the lack of faith will cause failure. Who tries to do something they don’t believe they can do?
Our thoughts are key
Dr. Lin said that we must see our own thoughts create our life, not the people, places and circumstances but how we react to them that control our lives. This idea is very common among people who have overcome incredible difficulties to achieve success.
Dr. Lin holds workshops to teach people ideas for success. It is amazing to hear the testimonies of people who attended and found ways to restore relationships, solve problems and achieve success in any area of life.
To be successful, study successful people
I read books by Brian Tracy. He flunked out of school and took low paying laboring jobs for years until he found a sales job. He didn’t sell very well until he decided to ask the top salesman how he achieved success. Once he learned the keys to success he became incredibly successful in selling and went on to write many books that sell well. He starts businesses and is a multi-millionaire. The key was that he went to the successful people to learn how to do it. So many people listen to failures and end up with negative attitudes in life. They learn from failures and become failures.