He changes after you marry him


He may go shopping with you when you are dating, but don’t expect him to do it after you are married. He might, but then again, he probably won’t. If you want to get along well with your husband, your best bet is to marry a homosexual. Yes, I am saying this tongue-in-cheek.

I remember being in a department store on a Saturday and overhearing a male customer talking with the sales clerk who was female. The man said “I had to work 20 hours of overtime this week and now I have to spend my day off shopping!” The sadness in his voice was similar to someone talking about the loss of a loved one.

I recently talked to a single lady, on the other hand, that said the most fun she had recently was going shopping for clothes with two other ladies.

A man told me that he didn’t realize that his wife was so opposite him until he got married. She was totally opposite. She was a woman and he was a man!

Women tend to be indirect and men are more direct. For example, a married couple are driving down the highway and have been driving for several hours when they pass a fast food restaurant. A man will be focused on the goal, getting there. The wife might say, “Honey are you thirsty?” Without even thinking the man might answer “Nope.” He keeps driving.

She feels hurt because she wanted him to ask her if she is thirsty so they can stop for something to drink. Ladies, expecting your man to understand your indirect questions is like expecting your two year old to understand calculus. It ain’t gonna happen. What happens next is the lady feels angry because he should have known what she wanted.

I recently heard that 4 out of five divorces occur because the wife is mad as hell and is not going to take it any more. I’m pretty sure that 5 out of 5 women would say men are hard to get along with. The problem is that statistics show that about 75% of the time the next man is even harder to get along with.

Certainly us men need to learn to communicate better.


  1. I usually say “there’s a cafe” as my husband drives blithely on without comment – he has not yet learned that what I really meant was “I want something to eat and drink and there’s a place to do it”!

  2. We women have to work at our communication styles, too. It is hard, but both genders need to learn how to be direct and extract information. The older I get, the better I get at being direct, and sometimes ummm, bitchy, as well as better at realizing that what I said was convoluted.

  3. I agree with you on this one Brad… we women need to learn to say what we mean and mean what we say. don’t expect anyone male or female to read your mind and know what you want. COMMUNICATE!!!

  4. I do think it has a lot to do with personality type, too. I’m an INTJ, which statistically is more often a man’s personality type, so I tend to be very direct in my relationships (in a nice way, of course), and the men I date tend to be a bit more on the feminine side, so cooking and shopping are not a problem for them. It’s all a matter of balance, really. Figure out who you are, and find your natural complement. 🙂

  5. Interesting read and actually so true! Men and women are different , think different and talk different, then in the end open communication is the best to get on well.

  6. While I agree with you that women need to be more direct, that is not the only way to resolve this chasm. Are some of your readers men as well as women? If so, men could also move towards the middle by realizing women do not communicate like they do and slightly adjusting how they communicate with the women in their lives. Relationships are all about communication and compromise. BOTH sides should be giving a little individually so they can gain together.

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