Fishing jokes

Brad Stanton —  January 7, 2013 — 7 Comments

Boat reflection

Boat reflection (Photo credit: Jesper Hauge)

On a summer day three preachers were sitting in a boat fishing. One of them said, “Hey let’s get everything off our chests and tell each other our worst sins.”

They thought about it for a while then one of them said “OK, I’ll go first. My worst sin is that I gamble. Sometimes I sneak away to another city to go to the casino there. I have to think up creative lies to tell why money is missing.”

The second one said, “Alright, I’ll tell you my worst sin. I cheat on my income tax. I always feel bad about it after I do it, and worry that I’ll get caught by the IRS.”

It got very quiet. Finally the man who went first said to the one who hadn’t spoken yet, “OK, now it is your turn. What is your worst sin? We both told you ours, now you have to tell us yours.”

The man was silent for a short time, then said “My biggest sin is that I love to gossip. I just can’t wait to get out of this boat!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A game warden heard that someone was fishing illegally by throwing dynamite into the lake. The explosion would kill fish in the nearby area and they would float up to the top of the water and he would net them into his boat.

The game warden approached all the boats on the large lake he could find to see if there were explosives on board. One day he brought his boat close to man in a bass boat and asked to take a look. The man refused and since the warden didn’t have legal right to board his boat he decided to talk to the man.

“I hear someone has been dynamite fishing in this area, which is illegal. Have you seen anyone doing that?”

The man in the bass boat shook his head, but the game warden was suspicious. He decided to stay and talk to the stranger for awhile. Finally the stranger got sick of the warden preaching about the illegality of dynamite fishing and he reached down and grabbed a stick of dynamite. He quickly lit it, threw it to the game warden and said

“Are you gonna preach or are you gonna fish?”

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Brad Stanton

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My blog has jokes and lots information designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams in life. http://www.BradStanton.com. click below to go to my blog.

7 responses to Fishing jokes

  1. 

    That kind of thinking shows you’re on top of your game

  2. 

    Greetings. My name is Serta Pillow-top Mattress. You can call me Serta for short. I am a really close ferind of Carolyn. I see her every day and night unless she goes out of town. Shucks, I guess I am her best ferind although she bought me only about 9 months ago. Wait, do you buy your ferinds?? She is very compassionate. She naturally connects with people and establishes meaningful relationships.I came into the picture because she needed rest. She had lost her best ferind and baby sister to cancer and did not know how to grieve. She was working 65 hours a week two days after her sister’s burial while taking three graduate level courses. These 65 hours was spent working with children who were severely emotionally disturbed. She pushed herself because she didn’t want to think as a result she hit a wall-burnout. She decided to take a year off from work and school and just spend some quality time with me, lounging around, reading, watching TV and eating bon bons. The problem was she never seemed to rest. She would lie down but her mind continued to race over various thoughts.Anyways, when she has her mind set on doing something she completes the task unless it involves resting. The quality time “thingy” lasted for about five months. She decided she was bored and falling behind on her Career Path.Carolyn has an associate degree as well as a bachelor’s degree in Sociology with a minor in Human Services. She is currently pursuing a M. Ed, Counseling as well as a Health Care Reimbursement certificate. She is in her second year of graduate school. She needs four classes to complete her Health Care Reimbursement certification. She also volunteers at a program that provides groups and counseling for youth substance abusers. This is in preparation for her CDC II certification.She was an active duty soldier; she is now a disable wartime veteran who serves her country for over 9 years. She deployed to several countries. Amazingly, she is the mother of eight, 5 biological children and 3 stepchildren. Two of her biological children and two of her stepchildren still resides at home. If you ask me, she need to sleep for a week-teenagers!She is back in school and she is happy and excited. Now, she rest and sleep more. I see her a lot earlier than usual. She tells me she has to get her rest so she can stay on task. She plans to be a coder and own her own private practice in the counseling arena. She is very smart and is going to do just fine. Whenever she feels like she needs a break or to shut down for a while, I will be right there in her favorite room waiting. That is what best ferinds do.

    • 

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  3. 

    Thanks for the giggle 🙂

  4. 

    The first one sure is a fine lesson 😉

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