A man died and left his wife $20,000. After the funeral she told a friend that she was broke.
“You’re broke?!” The friend asked. “I thought your husband left you a lot of money.”
“He did, but I spent $5000 on the funeral and $15,000 on a memorial stone.”
“That must have been a really big memorial stone” the woman said. “How big was it?”
The widow lifted up her left hand to show the woman and said “Oh, about three carats.”
Later the widow was in a car accident and the doctors thought she was dead. They used everything they could and soon her heart started beating again. The woman prayed to God and said “Oh thank you so much for letting me live. By the way, how much longer are you going to let me stay alive down here?”
God told her she had 40 more years to live.
She was so happy that she decided to stay at the hospital and get a face lift, a tummy tuck and breast augmentation. Soon she was able to leave the hospital.
Then one day about a month later she was hit by a car and died. As her spirit was being taken to heaven she asked God, “Hey, I thought you said I had forty more years down here, What happened?”
God said, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”
Disclaimer: these are just a little humor and certainly not doctrinally correct. I know some of you are thinking, yep, very little humor. Oh well, you get what you pay for and this was free.