Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)

Brad Stanton —  June 13, 2012 — 38 Comments

A Guide for the Married Man

A Guide for the Married Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from an email: NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it

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Brad Stanton

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My blog has jokes and lots information designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams in life. http://www.BradStanton.com. click below to go to my blog.

38 responses to Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)

  1. 

    This article is a home run, pure and smilpe!

  2. 

    I actullay found this more entertaining than James Joyce.

  3. 

    Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.

  4. 

    Very interesting topic, appreciate it for putting up.

    • 

      L.S.in de jaren ’50 en begin ’60 was er regelmatig een pauze numemr. Ook speelde het Tuschinski Orkest onder leiding van Max Kapper. Zijn oom, Maurits Kapper was getrouwd met mijn oudtante en van beroep opera zanger. Zijn loopbaan bij de Hamburgse Opera werd in ’33 onderbroken. Graag wil ik weten of er nog gegevens zijn over Max.Met vriendelijke groet,Simon Fuks

  5. 

    Please message me with some pointers about how you made this site look this awesome , I would be thankful!

    • 

      Sex allocatie is een igeirnertnd, maar lastig onderwerp. Even twee opmerkingen over je stuk: Je zei:Dochters grootbrengen is voor de beesten uit evolutionair perspectief een saaie, maar veilige keuze.Behalve dan als alle andere papegaaien hun zonen doden, want dan worden mannetjes juist bijzonder waardevol. Hij vindt immers gegarandeerd meerdere partners. De auteurs van het artikel zijn zich daarvan bewust en beweren dat dochters een veilige investering zijn, omdat ze eerder het nest verlaten.het iets hogere aantal jongetjes compenseert mogelijk voor de iets hogere jeugdsterfte onder dit vermeend sterkere geslachtDat is volgens mij nog steeds omstreden. Het zou ook kunnen dat zaadjes met een Y-chromosoom gewoon wat sneller zijn (Y is immers wat lichter dan X). Niks adaptieve strategie dus.

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