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OK, dear readers, I’m doing a very short survey to find out what you want to read here on this blog. Please leave a comment and let me know.

Would you like posts about one or more of these?

How to get answers to prayer

How to quit bad habits, including overeating

Weight loss strategies

Ideas for better relationships

Motivational stories that encourage you

Miracles I’ve seen or heard about

Anything else, let me know what you would like to read about. Leave a comment.


Snapshot_20120128_5I give three wishes to everyone reading this, I’ll tell you how I’ll do it later in this post.

The three wishes that I give you are what everyone wants:

Love

Joy

Peace

Have you ever met anyone who says they don’t want more love in their life? Everyone wants to be with those they love and go to places they love. Everyone wants to eat food they love and do the things they love to do.

Joy is another one. You have probably never heard anyone say “I’m just too happy. I don’t want any more joy in my life.”

It’s pretty much the same for peace. We all live in a hectic world. Things move so much faster now than they did one hundred years ago. Almost everyone has someone putting stress on them, whether it is a boss at work, a teacher at school, a spouse or parents or even your children.

So how would I give more love, joy and peace to all who read this? Actually it is not magic, but it works like magic. I would recommend that every reader spend some time every day being thankful for what they already have. In fact, the time you spend being thankful not only makes you happier, it also makes you stronger so that you are better able to get the things in life that you don’t presently have.

I write a blog about “success” in life. You probably wonder what I mean by success. Well, success is whatever you think it is. Everybody wants good relationships. So I write about things that build better relationships. Almost everyone wants to be financially secure, and I write about that. People want to be healthy, so I write about things that promote well-being.

I wrote a short ebook about getting your wishes in life. It is called “Make Money Doing Your Hobby.” Get it free here.

It just so happens that I posted a joke about a genie about a week ago. Read it here.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/generous-genies/


The prolific writer and eminent psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud has a lot of experience helping people in relationships. Whether your relationship is at work or with your husband, wife or anyone else, this advice makes good things happen. People who have successful relationships are good at confronting-getting problems talked out. They don’t wait until the problem is too large and poisonous to deal with easily.

People who have successful relationships use their anger well, they are proactive and loving in confronting other people about issues and problems.

Cloud says that anger can be a good thing because it can make you realize something is wrong. I agree that anger is certainly not always wrong, but it seems to me that anger can cause so many problems that it is best not to act out in anger. When angry, it is best to calm down first before confronting someone.

When confronting, use kindness. Don’t attack the person, but try your best to help the other person understand why you don’t like what they are doing. For example, instead of saying “I don’t like you because you always say (or do)….” a more successful way to handle the problem is to say “It makes me feel bad when you say (or do)….”

Many people say the person who has a grudge against them should be the one who comes to them to make the situation right, but they are hurting themselves if they operate this way.

Matthew 5:23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Jesus is saying that our relationships with people are so important that if someone is holding a grudge against you, you should go seek to make it right and get the problem solved. Giving a gift to God when your relationships are not right is a waste of time.

Relationships are so important to God that he says that not taking care of our relationships will hinder our prayers:

1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives… so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

Of course this goes for women to men and parents to children, children to parents. In other words, all relationships.

Don’t avoid confrontation, just do it with kindness and clarity. Avoiding confrontation is like avoiding the dentist when you need a root canal. The root canal is not a fun thing to have done, but it will make you feel much better later. Anger and resentment that builds up in a relationship is a lot like the infection building up inside your gums when you need work done by a dentist. The infection needs to be drained out, if not it begins to eat away at the flesh and causes more damage. Anger and resentment eat away at relationships and cause all sorts of poisonous problems.

God gives you enormous power because his Holy Spirit is living inside you. He gives you everything you need to maintain love in your relationships. And best of all, God loves you even more than you love yourself. He wants what is best for you even more than you do. Don’t worry, he’ll take care of you. If you have faith, he will do it.


264014_140512009362183_6657082_nTake the free personality test here

For thousands of years people have realized that human beings have different temperaments. These personalities or temperments fall into four different categories: Click on each to learn more about it. 
Sanguine 
Choleric 
Melancholy 
Phlegmatic 

 

 

Strengths of a Sanguine The Sanguine’s Emotions

  • Appealing personality
  • Talkative, Storyteller
  • Life of the Party
  • Good sense of humor
  • Memory for color
  • Physically holds on to listener
  • Emotional and demonstrative
  • Enthusiastic and expressive
  • Cheerful and bubbling over
  • Curious
  • Good on stage
  • Wide-eyed and innocent
  • Lives in the present
  • Changeable disposition
  • Sincere at heart
  • Always a child

Strengths of a Choleric The Choleric’s Emotions

  • Born leader
  • Dynamic and active
  • Compulsive need for change
  • Must correct wrongs
  • Strong-willed and decisive
  • Unemotional
  • Not easily discouraged
  • Independent and self sufficient
  • Exudes confidence
  • Can run anything

Strengths of a Melancholy The Melancholy’s Emotions

  • Deep and thoughtfully
  • Analytical
  • Serious and purposeful
  • Genius prone
  • Talented and creative
  • Artistic or musical
  • Philosophical and poetic
  • appreciative of beauty
  • Sensitive to others
  • Self-sacrificing
  • Conscientious
  • Idealistic

Strengths of a Phlegmatic The Phlegmatic’s Emotions

  • Low-key personality
  • Easygoing and relaxed
  • Calm, cool and collected
  • Patient well balanced
  • Consistent life
  • Quiet but witty
  • Sympathetic and kind
  • Keeps emotions hidden
  • Happily reconciled to life
  • All-purpose person

0000000000000000;lkjhgf“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“You can have anything you want if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.”
~Abraham Lincoln

Marie Calendar

Marie Calendar is famous for desserts. She started out as a waitress at a restaurant. One day her boss told her that he wanted her to bake pies. At first she resented this because she already worked hard and this would mean even longer hours. But instead of resisting and complaining she decided to give it her best effort. She cooked the very best pies she could. Soon customers were commenting on the delicious pies at that restaurant. The manager noticed that business was up and many people came just for the pies.

Maria decided to go into business for herself. It was a bit scary for her, there was equipment to buy, a kitchen to rent and other costs. But she had faith that she could do it. The faith she had in herself and in her abilities gave her the courage she needed to take the risk. The rest is history, now she is famous across the USA for delicious pies that are available in most grocery stores.


Og-Mandino-Quotes-1A wildly successful book

Og Mandino wrote The Greatest Salesman In the World in 1968. It was incredibly successful and continued to sell about a million copies a year for 30 years. It is still selling well today. The reason it is such a powerful book is that Og learned how to sell and teaches others how to sell in this book. But more importantly, he teaches how to have a happier life and good attitudes that bring about success in any endeavor.

After reading his book, I decided to take the principles I have learned from reading many dozens of books about achieving success and structure the ideas similar to the way Og Mandino did it in his book, because it has proven so successful. Not everyone that reads his book becomes a great salesperson, it takes a strong desire and persistence. It also takes a lot of faith – a strong belief that you really can achieve success. The following are these powerful ideas:

Today I begin a new life.

Today I leave failures and bad habits behind. I leave mediocrity behind me. I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind, by changing the way I think and act.

Today I will learn wisdom from some of the wisest people who have lived on this earth, because this wisdom has been tested and proven to bring good results. Today I will be successful because I put this wisdom into practice.

Life is full of good opportunities

There are many good opportunities all around, however, many people encounter failure and despair. I will not fail because I know that a person only truly fails if he gives up and quits.

Failure will no longer be mine. Success and happiness are fruits that I can and will achieve over time, although it may take time. I will never give up because I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

The olive tree is the king of all trees, it takes one hundred years to mature. The mighty oak tree also takes many years to develop. I will be successful today and achieve some goals today, but I realize that full success takes time. I will remember Thomas Edison, who failed thousands of times to build a light bulb when he said “I have not failed a thousand times, I have succeeded in finding thousands of ideas that didn’t work.”

I have failed in the past and sometimes have fallen into the destructive habit of self-pity. I will succeed and become a truly successful person because I am learning the principles of success that have been proven to be useful for thousands of years.

What is success?

Success is reaching my goals and dreams in life. I will be successful in my relationships, in my work life and in my family life. I will be truly happy and remember to count my blessings every day and as I think of my blessings, I will enjoy them and feel happy.

Good habits are the keys to all success. Bad habits bring failure.

1st principle: I will form good habits.

My bad habits must be destroyed. The best way to quit a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit. The first new habit I will form is to read this lesson as soon as I wake up in the morning. Then I will read it after my mid-day meal. Then, most importantly, I will read it aloud before I sleep at night. I will read only this one lesson, not the other lessons that follow this, three times a day for one month. Then I will move on to the next lesson and read it three times a day for a month, and so on.

Each of these lessons destroys a bad habit and brings me closer to success.

Say this affirmation: I am happy, healthy, wealthy, wise and good looking. Remember the affirmation in Joel 3:10 Let the weak say “I am strong.” So even if all the qualities in the affirmation are not true yet, go ahead and say it. It will make all of those qualities much more likely to come about in your life.

People are praying for you as you go through this series of steps and I know that God is good and will help you and give you all the strength you need to live a victorious life because he promised that we are more than conquerors. This means I can conquer bad habits, self-pity and sadness.

Why is it so important to form this habit of reading this lesson three times a day?

Because when I read this three times a day, it causes this information to seep into my subconscious mind. The subconscious is much more powerful than the conscious mind. It can change my actions without me even realizing it is happening. For example, have you ever bought a new car, maybe a white van, and after buying it realized there are many white vans on the roads that you never noticed before? Buying the white van made you think about white vans. Maybe in the past you never even noticed them. Now you will notice opportunities for success that you have never noticed in the past because your subconscious mind will bring them to your attention.

When powerful ideas are planted in your subconscious mind, beneficial results happen. This idea has been used by many people to achieve success. But not everyone who does this achieves success because they may not persist and do the other things talked about in the other lessons.

As these ideas are cultivated in my subconscious mind, I will begin to awake with a new vitality I have never known before. I will be able to get rid of negative thoughts as soon as they begin, and in fact, before they begin in my mind. My enthusiasm will rise and my fears will fade away and disappear. I will be happier than I believed possible.

Soon, I will react to any difficulty with strategies for success that I learn from these lessons.

Today I begin a new life.

I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing will slow my growth. I will not lose a day from reading these principles. For that day cannot be retrieved. I must not, I will not break the habit of reading these lessons. Truthfully, this is a small price to pay for a new and better life, a life filled with happiness and success.

I will not underestimate the simplicity of these principles because they have been proven successful for thousands of years. Today I begin a new life and I will be successful! Truly, I will be successful.

I will post more principles later. You don’t need them for another month, right? :)

Actually, this is very similar to my book, The Ten Keys To Success. Take a look at it and read some sample pages on Amazon.com click here

Buy Og Mandino’s book on Amazon.com Amazon.com Widgets


Please take the short survey. Click “vote” after each question to see the results. Thanks and have a great day!

Better relationships

Brad Stanton —  March 26, 2014 — 1 Comment

419315_327558890673538_203492715_nSurveys show there are at least seven important things that people want in relationships.

  • to be heard
  • to be physically safe
  • to be affirmed
  • to be praised
  • to be touched
  • to be passionately desired
  • to be included in your life

1. Your friend/child/spouse/employee wants to be heard.

Large, well managed companies often teach their supervisors the importance of listening. Remember to listen to your significant other and make sure she/he knows she is being heard. Don’t stare at the TV or computer while she is talking. She may be telling you things that she feels are extremely important.

Most men don’t understand how important the ideas are that a wife expresses. If she says she is feeling overwhelmed, don’t just say OK and then go on with your work. Understand that there is trouble and it may be really big trouble. Also, your wife probably looks to you as the leader in the family in some ways. Think about how you feel if your boss at work does not listen to you. Furthermore, how do you feel when your boss is harsh to you? Your wife probably feels the same way when you don’t listen to her or you are harsh to her. Listen to her, remember what she says, and realize it is important. Act on what she says. Women, your husband needs you to do the same.

Your wife or husband may have grown up in a family in which her/his emotions and feelings were not valued. There may have been a lot of loneliness in her life even though she was surrounded by sisters, brothers, mother and father. She needs to talk about how she feels. Never say that her feelings are not important. Don’t react to her in such a way that she feels you consider her feelings unimportant. This can cause enormous emotional distress, even mental illness in people if their emotions are not validated. Husbands, learn to talk about how you feel. You wife needs to hear it.

2. Your wife wants to be physically safe. If you have been physically aggressive to her, hitting, pushing or otherwise, it can cause much bigger problems than you think. It may have taken away her security. But safety is more than just this. She needs to know she will have a roof over her head and clothes to wear. Wives, remember to be content with what you have. Nothing is more difficult for a man than a woman who is never grateful for what he provides for her and always nags about wanting more, more, more.

But you both need to feel safe about expressing your feelings. Don’t belittle or ridicule each other’s feelings or desires.

3. Affirm each other. If your husband does the dishes for you, be sure and thank him. If your wife does something kind for you, don’t forget to affirm her and let her know that you appreciate it.

4. Praise each other. This is important because men need respect very much. They want you to respect and praise them for the efforts they make for the family. Your husband working extra hours at work may get tiring to you, but realize it may by your husband’s way of showing love for you and your children. Use positive reinforcement instead of negative to bring about changes. For example, say “It is so good for the family when you get home on time so that we don’t have to wait for you while our supper grows cold.”

5. Touch is very important in family relationships. Research shows that babies that are not touched, left alone in the hospital are likely to die. That is why hospitals hire people to pick up the babies and talk to them. Touch is important for children and adults, too. You may have seen the bumper sticker “Have you hugged your kid today?” It is important to do. I remember when my seven year old was crying about something that had happened to her at school. Her friend had gotten mad at her and pushed her down. I told her to sit on my lap and put my arms around her. Within a few seconds she was no longer crying and began to laugh.

6. Desire each other passionately. If you do this, it will bring fun back into your marriage. Pray for it. It is possible. You want to be the only man in your wife’s life, she wants to be the one and only woman in your life. There will be many times when she doesn’t feel that is number one. Spending all your time at work and neglecting her shows that there is another woman – your job, that is more important than her. Or it may be your mother, sisters, brothers, friends, hobbies.

Men and women both want to be included in each other’s lives. Most women begin to think about marriage when they are in their early teens. They think about sharing their life with a man. Men probably don’t think about this until they are older but it is important to them too. Do you include your significant other in your life? Ask her if she feels that you do.

OK, now you know some very important information. Don’t just read it and forget it. If you do, you are just wasting your time at this web site. Find a way to remember these ideas and make a plan as to how you will apply them to your life. Sit down and write down your plan. Keep it in a safe place. What I do is to find a way to remember these life changing ideas from the survey. I make an acronym from the main ideas. Let’s give it a try. The seven ideas are listed above. the first one is “Hear.” Use the letter H for hear. The next idea is safety-use an “S.” Make an acronym and spell something to memorize these ideas. Write a plan about how you will do these. 1. H (hear) 2. S (safe) 3. A (affirm) 4. P (praise) 5. T (touch) 6. D (desire passionately) 7. E (enter her into your life). You have seven letters: H, S, A, P, T, D, E. You can arrange the letters to form a word like this: SHAPED T. This word will help you remember the seven things people want in life so that you can find ways to give and receive these seven things.


000045fsdHave you ever stopped to think that the more you enjoy something the better you will do at it? For example Michael Jordan loves basketball, he loved his job as a pro basketball player. He would have to love the game to be willing to practice so many hours each week.

The more you love your job, the better you will perform.

You can learn to love your job. I don’t care how much you hate it now, you really can learn to be happy with your job. I find that I can love my job or hate my job. Every week I have to give myself a pep talk to keep my attitude about my job positive. Sometimes I say out loud “I love my job.” It may sound corny, but it really helps. Other times I think of all the good things about my job. You have probably heard of counting your blessings, well, it helps to write a list of blessings about your job.

A couple of years ago I did some research on what American companies are looking for when they hire employees. I found that almost all companies consider attitude to be very important. In fact many large companies say they prefer a person with a good attitude over a person with more experience and skill.

Attitude increases performance in relationships too. People who really love their spouse are better husbands and wives.

We can take a look at two hypothetical employees, Bill and Tom. Bill has learned to love his job and continues to learn to love his wife more and more. Tom hates his job and does not get along well with his wife. His boss would tell you he has a bad attitude and doesn’t get along well with others.

Bill comes in to work about fifteen or twenty minutes early almost every day. He has plenty of time to go to the coffee machine and buy a steaming cup of black coffee, just the way he likes it. He goes to his desk and organizes his day so that he can control events instead of events controlling him. He is relaxed and ready for a brand new day.

Tom often comes in ten minutes late. He is in a rush every day and it stresses him out. When he arrives at his desk a coworker is already waiting for him with a question about a project he is working on. Tom doesn’t have time to relax with a cup of coffee and his day is already set – stress and frustration.

Bill likes his job. He is grateful for it. That does not mean he never faces problems or difficulties. But he has a good attitude and that helps him cope with anything that goes wrong.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/daily-prompt-sixteen-tons/

 


Just as there are physical laws that govern
the physical universe, so are there spiritual laws
that govern your relationship with God.

Law 1

God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

God’s Love
“God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV).

God’s Plan
[Christ speaking] “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly”
[that it might be full and meaningful] (John 10:10).

Why is it that most people are not experiencing that abundant life?

Because…

Law 2

Man is sinful and separated from God.
Therefore, he cannot know and experience
God’s love and plan for his life.

Man is Sinful
“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Man was created to have fellowship with God; but, because of his own stubborn
self-will, he chose to go his own independent way and fellowship with God was broken.
This self-will, characterized by an attitude of active rebellion or passive indifference,
is an evidence of what the Bible calls sin. continue reading click here


d0be11The greatest paradox: Give up our life to really get abundant life. Give up striving for yourself and care as much about the other person as yourself. This makes a big difference in a relationship.

Idea: the more you enjoy something, the better you will be at it-marriage, job, parent, friend, etc. Enjoy your relationship, enjoy the other person.

Step one: Attitude. Have a good attitude about your partner.

Do you look forward to seeing him or her at the end of the day? You can change your attitude to enjoy seeing that person. It is your attitude that does it. Before I talk about how to change your attitude let me say how important attitude is because that will help change your attitude.

Most people don’t realize how powerful and important attitude is. US companies consider attitude more important than skill or experience.

Joe felt bored with his marriage. When he got off work he did not look forward to going home to see his wife. He had a bad attitude about her. Then he read a book about how to have a better marriage and put the ideas into practice little by little in his life. Now he really enjoys seeing his wife and children. He has more fun in life and more fun with his wife and family. He is more fun to be with also. His whole family is happier because he has a better attitude.

We’ll look at some of the changes Joe made to achieve this.

The more you enjoy your relationship with that person, the better it will be. The more you enjoy your job, the better you will be at it. The more you enjoy your wife, the better a husband you will be. The more you enjoy your husband, the better a wife you will be. Kids also.

Michael Jordan enjoys basketball. Einstein enjoyed physics. Mother Theresa enjoyed helping poor people. Show me any great person and it is almost certain they enjoyed what they do.

Have an attitude of enjoyment. Your attitude determines how good your life is, the quality of your life is not determined by how rich or smart or talented you are.

Every time you find yourself having a bad attitude about a person, change it immediately. Immediately is the key idea. Changing an attitude is easy to talk about but tough to do. The following four steps will help.

Step two: get rid of all anger

That means anger at your spouse, your boss, your kids, etc. We all deal with anger. Books on how to deal with anger sell like hotcakes because so many people struggle with anger.

Anger causes poisons to pump into the blood system and can slowly kill or make a person sick. Blood taken from an angry person injected into rat can actually kill the rat because of the toxins in the blood that are created from anger or other negative emotions.

When you first start to get angry, stop your anger. Count to ten or think about peasant thoughts. Take a walk. Do something pleasant. Think of the good qualities of that person, not the bad. Listen to soothing music. Eat a cookie. When you are tired or hungry you get angry easily. If you come home from work and get angry, go lie down or eat a snack.

Substitution principle: Substitute something pleasant instead of something damaging, like anger. This is a very powerful idea that can help anyone stop bad habits.

Step three: talk more, have more fun

Do this, go to a restaurant and watch couples. See if you can guess whether they are married or not. The dating ones seem more excited and seem to be trying harder to please their partner.

Make eye contact – dating couples make more eye contact than married people. Why should this be? Don’t let it happen to you.

#1 thing women want in a marriage is love and/or communication. #1 thing men want is respect.

If you are married have a date night. That means get a baby sitter for the kids and go out with your spouse. Have fun. If certain topics bring arguments, agree not to talk about them.

Learn how to talk about problems without blaming or fighting. Don’t get mad when discussing problems.

Don’t blame the other person for anything, Change yourself first and then help them change.

Make a covenant (agreement) and write it down. It is amazing how much a convenant can help. This means rules to follow or to abide by in the relationship.

Step four: think about things from your partner’s point of view

This is an idea that can make any relationship better, think about how you look to your partner/wife/husband/family/anyone. This is also good for getting a raise-think about how you look to your boss. A man came home tired every evening and was angry at his wife because she met him at the door with a baby and told him to take care of him. But he needed to think about her day and everything she had to do all day long and all night long.

Company leader said his workers didn’t look at themselves as their boss would. Be gentle with other people, you never know what problems they have. People often don’t understand the extent of their partner’s problems.

Step five: pray

Amazing things happen when people pray. Families that pray together stay together. They have done research about this and it really helps to pray together. Some people who are not Christians come to me and say they prayed about something and didn’t get it. I ask them if they are a Christian, they say no. Well, they need to change that first. Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian.

Make a plan, how you will implement these ideas in your life.

God loves you. God adores you. He loves you so much that he knows everything you think and do. He even knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows every detail about you. He cares about you so much he died for you and he won’t let anything happen to you that is not for your own good. Romans 8:23

1 Thess 5:16 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Christianity is a religion of love and joy.

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”


284415_143931332353584_7713814_nIn a survey of over 1400 people around the USA it was found that there were five things that people wanted most from marriage. They are

  • Unconditional love
  • emotional intimacy
  • spiritual intimacy
  • encouragement
  • better friendships
  1. Unconditional love means that the person is loved no matter what mistakes he or she makes. If your husband loses his job, he will probably feel very bad about it. He needs to know that you love and respect him even though he lost the job. Respect is very important to a man.
  2. The second thing that people want is emotional intimacy. Men spell this s-e-x. Women spell in t-a-l-k and often s-e-x. Women want to be talked to and communicated with. They want their man to look them in the eyes, understand what they are saying and validate their feelings. Validating means saying “Yes, I know it hurts.” or “Yes, I know you have had a tough day with the kids.”
  3. Spiritual intimacy is a need for God. Some people seem to crave a relationship more than others do. The Bible is a book about relationships and love. If you had to sum up the Bible in two words it would probably be Love and Forgiveness. We are promised in the Bible that if we ask for forgiveness for any sin, God will forgive us. What a joy it would be if our spouse was as kind. We must remember to forgive our spouse because for every complaint we have against him, he probably has a complaint against us.
  4. Encouragement is very important. We need to praise and encourage our spouse. Remember to praise your spouse every day. “Every day?” you may ask. Yes, try it every day. You probably won’t remember to do it that often, but it will inspire you to do it more that you did in the past. It is hard to stay angry at someone who praises and encourages us.
  5. Better friendships. Are you your wife’s best friend? Is she yours? If not, work on it. Friends have fun together, laugh and cry together, celebrate, play and plan together. Remember how much fun dating was? Your marriage can be even more fun than that. Don’t get into the rut of going out to eat and not even looking at each other. Try going to a restaurant and look at the people. You will be able to know who the married couples are and who the dating couples are by the way they talk to each other. If they look excited and seem to be having fun, are making frequent eye contact, they are probably dating. Isn’t it sad that it is that way? You can change it in your marriage!

OK, now you know some very important information. Don’t just read it and forget it. If you do, you are just wasting your time at this web site. Find a way to remember these ideas and make a plan as to how you will apply them to your life. Sit down and write down your plan. Keep it in a safe place. What I do is to find a way to remember these life changing ideas from the survey. I make an acronym from the main ideas. Let’s give it a try. The five ideas are listed above. The first one is unconditional love. We can use the word “Love” to summarize the idea. Use the letter L for love. The next idea is emotional intimacy. E for that. Number three is S. Four is E and five is F. We have LESEF. Rearrange the letters into a word you can remember. FEELS is a good one because you want to focus on how your spouse feels. LEEFS (sounds like “leaf’s”) is another. Use whatever word is best for you. Tape it to your mirror so you will see it first thing in the morning to remind you of your plan to have a happier marriage. Once you write out your plan of how you will show more love to your spouse, show emotional and spiritual intimacy, encouragement and friendship you are well on your way to a happier marriage. Don’t expect everything to change overnight. It probably took years to get into the situation you are in, it may take months to get out.

I once heard a person say that he often did marriage counseling and that the people seldom did the things he asked them to do. This is a very common problem. People spend a lot of money on a professional counselor or spend a lot of time seeing their local pastor for counseling, and then don’t apply what they learned in their relationship. This is a sure way to stay stuck in a marital rut.


It’s all about love. There is nothing else in the universe that matters. There is either love or lack of love.

Love for Arts

God created Adam and Eve. They were perfectly happy until they ate the forbidden fruit. Then they didn’t see each other with perfect love and they realized they had faults. Almost certainly they noticed faults in the other before themselves. Because they noticed faults, they felt naked, and made clothes from the skins of animals to cover their own faults.

When they had perfect love, everything was great. They were like babies or children who are totally satisfied with the love they feel in their family from their mother and father, sisters and brothers.

After they began to lack love, they began to notice things that weren’t right about the other person and themselves. That is what brought pain and suffering into their lives. Before there was only happiness, now there was thoughts of lack and problems.

Psalm 23 says that if God is your shepherd, you won’t lack anything good. Sounds hard to believe, but it is so true. If we could open our spiritual eyes and look with perfect love, we would see what is important and what is not. We would see that love is the only thing that matters, and since God loves us, he will give us all we need.

The problem is, the part of us that lacks love sees illusions that look real and desirable and we begin to want them so much that we feel unhappy if we don’t have them. We see something someone else has that we want. If we could just have perfect love, like a little child, we would be satisfied.

Think about things you like or love. Don’t think about things you don’t like. Worry, fear, depression, guilt, anger — we don’t like these, so don’t think thoughts that bring them about. Think only happy thoughts. The happy thoughts and feelings are love, and bring you closer to God and to success. God is love. When you are thinking about people, places and things you like/love it makes you stronger and more loveable to other people.

Think about music you love, streets you love, books, food, people, memories that you love. Learn to love your job, your family members, your friends and enemies. Anyone can love the loveable. It takes strength to love the people who are selfish. But if you can do that, you have achieved something important.


English: Downtown Long Beach, California at ni...

Long Beach, Ca

Some people “play hard to get” when another person is romantically interested in them. I have seen this ruin more relationships than anything else in the world. Men and women both do this. Nowadays it is considered completely inappropriate as I will discuss later in this post.  Please leave a comment on this controversial issue.

When I lived in Long Beach, California a young man and his girlfriend met in a cozy little café by the ocean. They had been dating for some time, but the girl decided it was time to play hard to get. She insisted that she was breaking up with him, when actually she wanted to marry him. After a long, heated discussion, he went out to his car, took a gun out of the glove box and shot himself dead. She was interviewed while she was crying hysterically on the sidewalk near the car. All she could say was “I loved him so much.”

I was rather close to a family who had a teenage son. His girlfriend broke up with him, apparently playing hard to get, and invited another guy to a party she knew her ex-boyfriend was going to. She flirted all evening with the new boy toy, making sure the boy she loved saw it, just to peak his interest in her and to make her more attractive to him. He went home and killed himself. Of course his family was devastated, apparently the girlfriend was too.

Most people don’t kill themselves when the person they like or love plays hard to get. But most feel terribly sad about it. The more a man/woman respects and admires another person, the more likely he/she is to quit dating when other plays hard to get. This is because if he thinks she is totally wonderful, he feels he doesn’t really have a chance for her anyway.

If a person does stick with a partner through this torture, it means he/she is very confident or knows all about mind games, or she doesn’t really think the partner is all that special anyway and keeps trying because it is not all that painful to do so.

Honesty is a very important aspect of good relationships. People who enjoy inflicting pain on their partner for their own gain will probably also be the type to punish their spouse severely for anything he/she considers less than proper treatment.

Many large companies tell their employees every year that they can only ask a coworker out twice, any more than that is considered completely inappropriate and can be considered sexual harassment.  After this training, many people don’t ask a person out more than twice, even if he doesn’t work at the same company, so if one is playing hard to get, the relationship ends dead in its tracks.

Most men I know respect a woman for asking him out before he asks her out. Ladies, you have been set free, you can choose the man you want, in the old days it wasn’t this way. When a woman chooses to take the subservient role and plays hard to get it is very confusing to men and I notice most men bail out these days because they expect equality.

Leave a comment, feel free to disagree with this post!


Begging professional

Begging professional (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A high school boy was told by a counselor that he wasn’t very smart and should take the lowest level job available after high school. So he did. He worked in a factory at the lowest level year after year for many years.

Finally, the factory he worked in had to shut their doors and laid everyone off. The young man applied at another company in town. As part of the application process he was required to take an IQ test. When the results of the test came back he was shocked. He scored higher on the test than anyone in the 63 year history of the company. He was actually a genius.

He went on to start his own company and invented two useful products which each made a lot of money. All of this happened because he had confidence that he could accomplish his goals.

His talent was IQ, but what talent do you have that you have not discovered yet? Some experts consider EQ more important that IQ as a determinate of success in life. EQ stands for Emotional Quotient.

It has been found that people who have a burning desire to accomplish a task are more likely to succeed at it than someone who might have a higher IQ, with no desire to succeed.

Some people are highly successful at their jobs because they love people. They love people so much that others are drawn to them and they can sell just about anything to anyone. Others have a flair for creating beautiful paintings, interior decorating, lovely poems or stories or beautiful music. Some people have a burning desire to play a sport, and make a living doing what they love to do.

The moral of the story about the high school boy is that someone gave him confidence. Just think of the number of children that could accomplish much more if they had someone to give them confidence. Your children are your future, do you speak confidence into them? No one else can do it as well as you can if you are their parents.

There are millions of street children in the world. On December 16, I will fly to Manila to help bring hope and the necessities of life to street children. Would you like to help me?

http://www.travel4j.com/donate.html

Related articles

Street children part 3

Brad Stanton —  October 18, 2013 — 6 Comments

Vietnam Saigon Child in the Street

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Remember when you were young and idealistic? You probably believed that you could change the world. Perhaps you spoke passionately about causes you believe in and you were optimistic about your chances of success. The world just needed a little coaxing. But as the years went by, you realized that the world is a much bigger place that you imagined—full of people who hold opposing views. Thus, you may have settled into a routine lifestyle and concerned yourself only with the challenges of everyday life.

If that sounds like you, it’s time to yank yourself up and shake yourself around. It’s time to reclaim your passion, refocus yourself mentally, and go back to the business of world changing. Sure it’s daunting, seems impossible. But you’ve got more going for you than you had back in your younger days. You’re wiser, more experienced, less likely to be overwhelmed by unexpected challenges.

Start simply by doing something, anything—big or small—that has the potential to make a difference in even one life. By now, you probably realize that changing one life changes the world as a whole. So choose something you care about , and make it a place to begin.

No matter what you settle on, a group probably already exists from politics, to taking care of the environment, to literacy, there are plenty of choices. Find a group who advocates a position you believe in and enter in. 

Jesus once said that the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed-the smallest of all seeds. It eventually produces a plant that is larger than all the other plants in the garden. So don’t worry about the size of your contribution—just do what you can and expect God to make it count. By the time you reach retirement, you’ll be in the habit of changing the world.”

From the book 101 Things You Should do Before You Retire page 61 Stage a Revolution

Remember the story of the father and son walking along the beach? They saw thousands of star fish stranded on the beach, waiting to die. The father walked up to a star fish and picked it up. He looked at it and then threw it back into the ocean.

“Dad, there are thousands of them, there is no way we can save them all. There is nothing we can do to make a difference!”

The father replied, “It made a difference to that one.”

Manila Street Children

Manila Street Children (Photo credit: ibarra_svd)

When I read about the millions of street children around the world I feel that there are too many of them, I just can’t make a difference. But we can make a difference to some of them.

I’m leaving December 16 to fly to Manila to help street children. Want to help? http://travel4j.com/donate.html

I will meet the principal of a high school who is in the position to know a lot about helping children.

It seems all the great masters taught us that it is actually more joyful to give than to receive.


Street Child Worker

Street Child Worker (Photo credit: ‘ Nasim Fekrat)

“Street children is a term for children experiencing homelessness who primarily reside on the streets of a city. Homeless youth are often called street kids and street youth; the definition of street children is contested, but many practitioners and policymakers use UNICEF’s concept of boys and girls, aged under eighteen years, for whom “the street” (including unoccupied dwellings and wasteland) has become home and/or their source of livelihood, and who are inadequately protected or supervised.

Some street children, notably in more developed nations, are part of a subcategory called thrownaway children who have been forced to leave home. Thrownaway children are more likely to come from working class and single parent homes. Street children are often subject to abuse, neglect, exploitation, or, in extreme cases, murder by “clean-up squads” that have been hired by local businesses or police. In Western societies, such children are sometimes treated as homeless children rather than criminals or beggars.”  From Wikipedia

Can you imagine what it would be like to be a child growing up without parents or family to help you? Out on your own, forced to find food by yourself.

We can help these kids. I’m taking a trip to Manila to find the best way to help the street kids there. Want to help me go? http://travel4j.com/donate.html

It doesn’t do any good to feel sad for the street children. If you feel sad about this or anything else, the best way to get rid of sadness is to think of the illustration of a glass full of polluted air. The polluted air represents the sadness, anger, guilt or fear you are feeling. You could put a vacuum pump on the glass and try to suck out the bad air. This would be difficult and expensive to do and most pumps would only get about 90% of the dirty air out of the glass. The easiest way to get rid the dirty air is to pour water into the glass. Pour love into your mind by thinking of things you love, or like. The love will fill your mind and the negative thoughts will be forced out.

Think of food you like, people and places you like, music you like. Think of memories of places you have been, movies you enjoyed, pets you like. Think of anything that you like for a few minutes and your mood will change.

Thinking of things that you love or like bring good things into your life. It is hard to explain in one short blog post, but suffice it to say that love is the most powerful force in the universe. In other blog posts I have written about what happens in the subconscious mind when you think about things you love.

Street children in Cebu (Philippines).

Street children in Philippines (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Street children

Brad Stanton —  October 12, 2013 — 3 Comments

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By “street children” I mean not only children whose parents have died, but also children who have been abandoned or neglected by their parents. Many street children are too poor to attend school but can return home after working on the streets all day.

Every country in the world has orphans, some orphans are well taken care of, and some are not. But my heart really goes out to children living on the street without anyone to take care of them. Many have to scavenge to find their next meal. They might have to dig through trash cans just to find enough food to survive one more day.

When I was living in Guangzhou, China in 1992, I saw a little boy begging for money at a train station. He was probably about 5 years old. I noticed that he had fresh, deep cuts on his feet. I tried to speak to him, but I was new in China and could speak and understand very little.

Later I learned that the cuts on his feet were probably made intentionally, to cut the tendons of his feet so that he couldn’t run away. Probably he had been kidnapped and forced to beg and give the money to his captor. This distressed me terribly and I couldn’t get the image of that little boy out of my mind for months. When I grew weary of studying Chinese, I remembered that boy and realized the best way to make a difference was to learn to speak Chinese well so that I could communicate to the police and other officials who could stop this kind of thing in case there was no one there to translate for me.

Now I realize there are other ways to make a difference-one of them is to get the word out to as many people as I can. I plan to take a trip to Manila, Philippines this Christmas season. There are over 700,000 children living on the streets in Manila. I plan to find people there willing to help the street children. I would love to raise enough financial support that I can pay people there to work full time helping the children.

Will you help me with this trip? Your donations will make a huge difference. http://travel4j.com/donate.html Does your heart ache for the kids like mine does? Let’s make a difference! Please click “press this” or “facebook” to repost this.
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What is behind the doors?

Brad Stanton —  August 26, 2013 — 6 Comments

Here we have three doors. Two doors lead to a couple of our top posts.

Behind one door is our spookiest blog post. Read it if you dare.

Behind another door is the joke that our readers rated number one on this blog.

Behind one of the doors is a motivational post about how enjoying something makes you perform better. For example the more you enjoy your job, the better you will perform, if you enjoy your kids more, you will be a better parent.

Click the image of each door to be transported to each of the three blog posts. You won’t know which door leads you to which post until after you click each door.





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At one time or another, we’ve all had to maintain a conversation with someone who is defensive, a poor listener, or a discussion dominator.

Ask Yourself:

1.      What do you think is the most difficult aspect of dealing with an emotional communication situation in the workplace?

2.      When faced with a particularly difficult communication situation, how do you handle it?

3.    What communication situations seem to be the most difficult for you to handle?

Common Communication Nightmares include (see points 8 through 17 for answers):

4.      You just don’t get it! (How do I get my message across to someone who just doesn’t get it?)

5.      Is anybody listening? (How do I get someone to listen?)

6.      Shut up and let me finish! (How do I confront someone who dominates or interrupts the conversation?)

7.    What I really want to say is . . . (How do I communicate something the other party doesn’t want to hear?)

Eliminating Communication Nightmares:

8.      Make up your mind to deal with the situation no matter how complicated or emotional it might be.

9.      Make the commitment to stick with the challenge until your message is clearly understood.

10.  Focus on the issues, not the person.

11.  Explain your perspective, communicate how you see the situation.

12.  Ask how the other person sees the situation; have them explain their perspective.

13.  Get agreement.

14.  Send a consistent message; use consistent body and verbal language.

15.  Ask questions and listen in order to create a shared understanding of the problem; give and get feedback.

16.  Use a communication style that matches the person you are working with.

17.  Be candid and caring.


DSC05244

Change can cause stress in your life

Many changes in life can be traumatic and threatening for everyone involved and they can seriously disrupt work and life processes and even the future success of a company or home.

Moving to another home, divorce, marriage, death in the family, bullying, starting a new job, losing a job and many other things cause stress.

Communicating during times of change is not only needed, it can be key to navigating the transition from where you were to where you’re going.

This brief tip sheet will give you an overview of communicating in times of change, about your role as a manager (father, mother, teacher, etc.), and about the behaviors you and your employees/family members are likely to experience.  http://bradstanton.com/10-keys-to-success/

Change affects behaviors

Normal change can be exciting. It keeps us on our toes, challenges our skills, opens new horizons. But big changes that muddy the future trigger alarms in most people and raise concern for their jobs and the welfare of their families.

Emotions will surface in behaviors that affect performance. For example:

Anxiety –Many people have mixed feelings of relief and gratitude that they have a job, combined with fears about whether they will make it through transition at all. As a result, they can become narrow-minded, self-absorbed, and afraid to take risks. They may spend more time talking about their concerns.

Reduced loyalty –It’s normal to feel betrayed, angry, and depressed. Tensions and hostility can flare up easily, and some people will refuse to do more than the minimum to meet work requirements.

Questions of fairness and equity –Change usually involves decisions about who stays and who goes, or who gets what work assignment. Fear of losing one’s job leads to insecurity, and there will be accusations of favoritism. One way to rationalize insecurity is to generate skepticism of how decisions are being made.

People experiencing stress may demonstrate frustration, futility, and apathy, They may feel (and exhibit) physical and mental tiredness, a common reaction to stress caused by change.

Most people reach acceptance in four stages. Each stage has its own set of behaviors and emotions. Recognizing what state a family member or employee is in will help you manage him or her through the transition.

1. Denial

Apathy

Numbness

2. Resistance

Can’t sleep at night

Apathy

Numbness

“Gave my all and now look what I got” Don’t feel this way, it will get better.

Withdrawal-being alone for awhile is ok, but too much can cause problems.

3. Exploration

Over-preparation-some people want to plan so much they never take action

Frustration-feel angry about change

Too many ideas-it may help to seek wise advice

Too much to do-find people to help

Can’t focus

4. Commitment

Teamwork-going the same direction as a family/company and working together

Satisfaction

Clear focus and plan
for more information, or to get 4 free ebooks when you buy one, go to http://bradstanton.com/10-keys-to-success/

some blogs i like:
http://cupcakepetrillo.wordpress.com/ A children’s author with inspirational quotes
http://authormccloskeyspeaks.wordpress.com/ Thoughts on writing
http://authorcharmainegordon.wordpress.com/ Stories of women who survive…and thrive
http://utesmile.wordpress.com/ Ute’s happy world
http://quirkybooks.wordpress.com/ Read the difference
http://k9trackersblog.com/  Accentuate the PAWsitive, about animals


http://platformuniversity.com/  Click the link to read how Michael Hyatt did it.


girl-with-a-fanMany times I have talked to a man or woman who is not happy with a relationship. Almost always, it is because the person I am talking to is not giving what the other person wants.

All people are selfish, some more than others, but it was written thousands of years ago that it is actually happier to give than to receive. Sounds hard to believe, but it really is true. When you give, good always comes back to you. Whether you call it karma or the law of sowing and reaping, it always works.

However, to change a relationship that has been a problem for many years won’t happen overnight. It takes time and persistence.Here are some questions to ask yourself that can really improve any relationship:

  • What things do you do to improve your loved one’s life?
  •  If you could write what you do to improve your loved one’s life, what do you do to help her/him
    a. achieve what she wants
    b.avoid what he doesn’t want
    c.preserve what they want to keep
  • How do your loved ones describe you? What words do they use?
  • What does your loved one value? What benefits does he/she seek or expect from you?
  • What are several things you do that your loved one values?
  • Why does your loved one love you?

After doing marriage counseling for many years Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages.” He found that everyone wants one or more of these. The five categories are:

  1. Kind words
  2. Quality time
  3. Gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

If you can find out what your loved one wants most, you can save yourself a lot of energy and wasted effort. You can quit sacrificing to give him/her what she doesn’t really want and give what she does want. It frees you up to spend energy where it is most efficient and you can quit doing a lot of things that you did in the past that got no results.

Kind words are things you say that show you love, value and respect someone.

Quality time means you are not too busy to spend plenty of time together.

Gifts: some people especially like to receive gifts or go shopping for their own gifts.

Acts of service means that you do something, like cook, take out the garbage, etc.

Physical touch means that you find out how the person likes to be touched and do it regularly.

More ideas for success at www.bradstanton.com/ten-keys-to-success/


1. Write interesting posts. 10962_569881986357496_9143060_n

What do your readers want to read? You can use the number of “likes” as an indication of which posts are most popular. Content is king, good quality, interesting posts are a must to keep people coming back. A good way to write a great post is to find a post you enjoy and rewrite it to your experience. Make the good post even better.
Ten Keys to Success has ideas for success in anything you try, whether it is writing posts, losing weight, making money, better relationships.  http://bradstanton.com/10-keys-to-success/

2. Write post titles that catch people’s attention and make them want to read the post.

There are many good books out there written to teach you how to do it. “Advertising Headlines That Make You Rich” is just one of them. You can go to amazon and read some pages of the book for free.

3. Create an interesting “About” page.

Most bloggers get the most hits on their home page, their latest post, and second to that is their “About” page. This page is a great way to tell your readers who you are. Make sure you put your best foot forward. I look through lots of blogs and sometimes find good ideas on their pages that I use on mine, I don’t copy, just pattern it the same.

4. Use a good picture of you.

A head shot is great, but sometimes more than one pic is good. Find a pic of you that presents your personality in the best light. I see some blogs that use professionally done photos and it really appears to be worth the money.

5. Make your posts easy to tweet, email, etc.

You see below my posts are icons you can click on to tweet the post or send it to facebook. If you use a wordpress blog, it is easy to add these. Go to Dashboard, go down the list on the left hand column to “settings” and then click “sharing.” Scroll down in sharing to find the social media sharing icons.

6. Use other social media to draw people to your blog.

Use Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, StumbleUpon and other social media to tell people about your blog. I use http://www.hootsuite.com to post tweets and facebook. You can schedule the tweets and posts to occur at any time, even weeks in advance. There are other sites that offer free software to do this because I often need to spread out my tweets.

7. Make sure you use good tag words that search engines can find.

One professional blogger posted on a method to speed up your iphone, it became one of his most popular posts because people were searching for that on google and other search engines.

8. Post frequently, but not so often that you give up quality.

Some pro bloggers post five times a week. You might see grammar errors in their posts. They are just too busy to proof read all of their posts often enough to make sure the grammar is perfect. But don’t give up quality for quantity.

9. Browse other blogs and click “like” and leave comments.

This tells people that you have a blog. Make sure your gravatar has a link to your blog and the web address.

10. You can even buy advertising for your blog

Web sites like Stumbleupon.com, Reddit.com, buysellads.com sell advertising that can send people to your blogs.