Everybody has to persuade people sometimes

Brad Stanton —  February 1, 2013 — 11 Comments

sexy

We all want to persuade people (our kids, boss, employees, spouse) to do certain things.

The Pygmalion effect (also called the Rosenthal effect) is a phenomenon that has been proven to work very well by scientists, including Dr. Robert Rosenthal of Harvard University and UC Riverside. It has been shown that when you have high expectations for your students, spouse, children, employees, etc. that they will perform better just because you have faith in them.

Also, it has been proven over and over that positive reinforcement (reward) works better to change people than negative reinforcement (punishment).

So when your child comes home with poor grades, it is best to say,

“Honey I know you can do better next time because you are smart” than to say “You are grounded for a week, dummy.”

Self-fulfilling prophecy is powerful. Listen to the way you talk to yourself in your mind. Do you call yourself stupid, lazy, ugly? If you do, you will start to become what you call yourself.

An MMA fighter named Tito Ortiz talked about this. He had grueling workouts to prepare for fights and tried to motivate himself by calling himself lazy if he quit a workout early. He called himself a loser and other names people should never call themselves or others. Ortiz was unpopular in the ring. He was often booed, and he could not understand why people didn’t like him.

Later Ortiz got a new coach who told him to be careful of his “self-talk.” Ortiz began to call himself a winner and a hard worker. To his surprise, the fans quit booing him and he dramatically improved his fighting ability. It became easier to finish his workouts.

Do you want to change someone? Wives I know you want to change your husband. The best way is to use positive statements. “Honey, I really admire you when you take out the trash” is better than getting angry and not talking. Silence only makes things worse, because us men are never smart enough to read your minds.

If you really believe in yourself and your people, great things will happen!

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11 responses to Everybody has to persuade people sometimes

  1. 

    I found the article very insightful and shared it so that management from my former workplace might actually read it and practice positive reinforcement. Their old “if you work more, we earn more” mentality just isn’t cutting it. That and they also constantly complain of how low production is and have made the place into a veritable prison while you’re inside seem only to worsen the situation.

    I , however, found it odd the pictures posted with the blog. It didn’t seem to go along with the article. Then again, the caption of the cartoon “Why is my blog sexy?” was the reason I read the blog in the first place, so in this instance the picture is what influenced me to read it. X-D

    • 

      I had a rather hard time cosnoihg just one type of physician I would want to work for. So many of them fascinate me, and with me not really going into any medical field other than support, I never gave this any thought in the past. After reading the list, I am more favorable of working for a neonatologist. It is difficult to think about how neonatologist physicians sometimes have the most difficult job in the world, but I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be a part of saving a baby’s life. I had a coworker once whose baby was born at 36 weeks, and her baby had a lot of heart and lung problems. There were concerns about whether or not they would ever fully develop once she had him, but after many months in the NICU, and many scares that happened during it, the doctors were able to save him and he is now a very healthy 5 year old. It is because of that I have a higher interest in the neonatologist field.I hate to say which type of physician I would care less to work for, and it is because I worry that many will take it the wrong way. When I was 16, I used to help my mom at an assisted living home as a caregiver. We would get to work at 7:00 A.M. every morning to prepare breakfast for four of the elderly men and women that we were caring for. We would then make sure that all bedding was changed, rooms were cleaned, meals were prepared, and appointments were handled. We worked 12 hour days, and they were always grueling. The owner of the home made sure that everyone had their medicine and made it to their doctor appointments on time. However, she was more worried about getting paid for her services than actually helping the elderly. She would yell at them if they did something wrong, and even call them terrible names. My mom reported her and we both quit our job, but it has always left a sting in my heart since then. It is because of my experience with that situation that I do not think I could ever work for a gerontologist. I know that the situations would be much different, but ever since my experience with caring for elderly individuals it is very hard for me to think about assisting a physician in geriatrics because I worry that someone else might treat the elderly in the same way the owner of the home did. I am a firm believer that the elderly deserve the ultimate care and comfort when going through any treatment and aging in general, but I do not think I could ever work in that environment again.

    • 

      Jerry I think Gonzo worried too much about chrsimtey(i.e making Harvey happy). Willard should just play the guys that deserve the playing time The competetion should be good for the team.As for RU, before making them the favorites for the Big East in 2011, lets make sure the kids all get into to schoool and are as good as the experts say. I hope Rice does not turn out to be like Gonzo, good with lesser players but unable to rise to the next level with the big boys.P.S. How is fatherhood? Is the kid toilet trained yet?

  2. 

    Ummmm…not so sure when it comes to husbands…ha ha ha. I am not kidding about that one, been trying, still trying, will continue trying…But yes, I am with you on the self-talk bit. Hands down changes things :)

  3. 

    A good lesson to hear before teaching little kiddos abroad!

  4. 

    This is some good information that’s good to be reminded of! Thanks!

  5. 

    This is especially true in a classroom filled with 3rd graders!

    • 

      Amen! I used to teach grades 1 through 6 myself.

      • 

        I always enjoy Seth’s ihgtsnis as a breath of fresh air especially with CBS embracing people like Billy Packer, whose over-stated commentary got old quickly then his replacement Clark Kellogg’s his faux-Clyde routine One of the things Seth conveniently forgets is that some of the cupcake games are regionally politically correct I think that UCONN being on the bubble might be more of a reality with Coach Calhoun’s medical leave of absence Coach Blainey was a genius hire but he’s not Coach Calhoun I am hoping the American Sports Vatican (aka Notre Dame) falls off that bubble they need to establish a reputation of athletic excellence, not just a memory of the Digger Days !!!Glad to see someone speaking nationally about Da Hall and I agree with his evalaution !!!Lastly, I certainly hope Duke’s Singler stays for his senior year it will help the team and recognize that he’s not an NBA calibre player now and might never be

      • 

        Regarding the whole NCAA Violations matter, I truly think that the NCAA needs to eihter be more efficient and thereby more of a martinet or become more realistic in their evaluations. While I have absolutely no use for the likes of Cal-the-Lip , this current Bledsoe thingy is a waste of time, money, and newspaper ink The NCAA ought to simply follow the olde adage of Follow the Money !!! No $$$, no violation By $$$ I mean the disbursement of anything by anyone (school, booster, or supplier) to anyone associated with the kid !!!Seems pretty simple and realistic to me !!!

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