Archives For June 2012

Funeral Humor

Brad Stanton —  June 29, 2012 — 24 Comments

Two brothers who lived in a city were so mean, hateful, cruel and nasty that after one brother died, the other brother had a hard time finding a preacher willing to do the funeral. Finally he came up with the idea of donating to the preacher’s church before asking him to do it.

He gave a five thousand dollar check to a preacher and asked him to do the funeral. The preacher reluctantly agreed. “But you will have to agree to say my brother was a saint” the man said to the preacher. Again, the preacher agreed, but even more reluctantly.

The day of the funeral the surviving brother went to the graveside and listened intently as the preacher spoke. He was aghast when the preacher began saying a list of true, but very uncomplimentary things about the deceased.  “This man was a scoundrel, a philanderer, he cheated on his wife, stole from his parents and harassed many people in this town. But compared to his brother, he was a saint!”

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Do affirmations work?

Brad Stanton —  June 28, 2012 — 25 Comments

“Four things for success... work and pray... t...

“Four things for success… work and pray… think and believe” ~ (Photo credit: turtlemom4bacon)

There are probably hundreds of books out there dealing with the power of affirmations. An affirmation is a statement such as “I am losing weight” that brings about change in a person’s life.

But do affirmations work? They have for me! I have used a number of different affirmations during the past year and they have helped me tremendously. Usually I wake up tired and in a bad mood in the morning. I find a good way to improve my mood is to say affirmations. I’ve heard it said many times that we can choose the mood we want to have when we get out of bed in the morning. For a long time I didn’t quite believe it. But after using affirmations, along with thinking of things I am grateful for, I find my day starts much better and it has made me a happier person. Affirmations are one of the things that turned me from a chronic pessimist into a much more cheerful optimist. There have been other things that helped, I write about them in other posts, it is way too much to include here.

I first heard about affirmations over 30 years ago. A psychologist found that if his patients said “Every day, in every way I’m getting better and better” that they improved more quickly than those that didn’t use affirmations. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale starts his book “The Power of Positive Thinking” by telling what happened to him one evening before he gave a lecture. A man came up to him saying that he was terrible stressed out and fearful. He had a big business deal coming up the next day, and he was afraid if he didn’t get the deal, his entire business would fail and that his life would be a failure along with it. Dr. Peale wrote an affirmation on the back of his business card and gave it to the man. “Say this ten times out loud every day and it will give you strength,’ he said. Peale also gave the man a short pep talk.

The man left, repeating the affirmation and began to feel much better. Later he met Dr. Peale again and told him that evening had changed his life for the better. He was no longer worried and stressed out, always expecting the worst. Good things began flowing to him instead of away from him and his business was much more successful. What was the affirmation? It was Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
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If you looked at this ebook on Amazon.com before today, you saw it had a technical problem with the formatting. This has now been corrected.

click here or on the photo above and it takes you to the ebook for sale on Amazon.
This eBook explains how to have powerful prayers that really do get answered. Jesus said faith is one of the main keys to answered prayer and this book explains how to develop strong, unwavering faith which will not only make your prayers powerful, but will add joy and optimism to your life. Don’t settle for a mediocre life, God wants you to have a fulfilling and victorious life. Whether you are praying for success in a relationship, career, overcoming an addiction or anything else, this book will help. I spent many hours researching ideas for this book, and those ideas have made my life much happier, I hope they help you too.
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Love Diverts Disaster

Brad Stanton —  June 24, 2012 — 15 Comments

Mrs. Thompson had seen Teddy in the halls for several years before he became a fifth grader. She was not looking forward to having him in her class. She had a rather large class and dozens of papers to grade every day. The last thing she needed was another under achiever who needed extra help and rewarded her diligence with bad behavior. He didn’t try very hard and often showed up to class looking messy, hair uncombed and clothes not clean

But the school year began and she tried to make the best of it and give Teddy a fair chance before judging him too harshly.

Then came Christmas. All the students got Mrs. Thompson gifts wrapped in colorful wrapping paper with beautiful bows and ribbons. But when it came time for Teddy to give Mrs. Thompson her gift he carried forward a small package wrapped in paper from a brown paper grocery bag. She opened it and inside were a bracelet with some of the rhinestones missing and a bottle of cheap perfume than was more than half empty. Some of the children began to snicker and laugh. But she was smart enough to act delighted and put on some of the perfume.

Later Teddy came up and stood near her and said very quietly, Mrs. Thompson, you look just as beautiful as my mother when you wear that bracelet. And you smell just like her when you wear that perfume. He looked at her with admiration in his eyes.

She began thinking about Teddy after class that day. She realized that he had always been kind to her, even when some of the other students had not. She decided to look at his files and see what his previous teachers had written about him.

1st grade: Teddy shows promise but has very poor home situation

2nd grade: Teddy could do better but mother is seriously ill.

3rd grade: Teddy is a good boy but distracted, his mother died this year.

4th grade: Teddy shows no interest in school work and is not doing well. He has become very quiet and withdrawn, his father seems to show no interest in him.

Mrs. Thompson wiped away tears from her eyes. The next morning the students had a new teacher. She took off her eyes of judgment and put on eyes of love. She understood why Teddy was so distracted and apathetic.

Mrs. Thompson decided to make Teddy her special project. She gave him extra time and tutoring and found he was grateful for it, whereas when she had done this with other students they resented the extra work they were asked to do.

He finished elementary school and she didn’t see him again for a long time. But she got a letter from him telling her that he had graduated from high school second in his class. Later she got another letter saying that he had graduated from college first in his class. Then some years later she got another letter from Teddy saying he had graduated from medical school and was now a doctor. Not only that, he was getting married and wondered if she would be willing to sit where his mother would have sat in the wedding.

As she finished reading the letter she realized that the extra love and attention she had showed Teddy steered him away from a life of failure. She had quit judging him and realized that he had potential, but no one else was willing to help him.
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English: Portrait of a girl from Portugal

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Four people were in an airplane which was going to crash so they all had to parachute out. The problem was that there were only three parachutes so they began discussing who would get the chutes. The first man said that he ran an orphanage and that dozens of children depended on him for survival, so he took a chute and jumped out.

The second man said “I have a PhD in Nuclear Physics, Biology and Law and since I am the smartest man in the world, the world needs me,” so he jumped out.

An old retired farmer and a school girl were the two left. The old man said “You take the chute. I have lived a long and full life and I am looking forward to going to heaven.”

The school girl replied, “No need, there are still two parachutes left. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my book bag.”

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Rodney Dangerfield jokes 
Happy no matter what 
Classroom humor 
Layover humor 
The keys to success 
Motivational quotes 
Why aren’t you dead yet? 
Are you responsible 4your success 
Failure brings success 
Confidence gives you power 
Get the power…


Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

God rewards those who earnestly seek him. If you believe God is a good God, he will be good to you. If you believe God is bad, he will be bad to you, just like in the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. The servant who buried his one talent in the ground believed the master was harsh and it affected the way he acted so the master was harsh to him. He didn’t have faith that the master was good. The servants who believed the master was good behaved in a way that caused the master to be good to them. I do admit, however that God is often good to people even when they are bad, but I think you see the point I am trying to make here.

The Children of Israel left Egypt under the leadership of Moses and were promised a land flowing with milk and honey. God wanted them to take that land and live there in houses they did not have to build and enjoy the abundant fruit and other food. It was almost heaven on earth. But the Israelites decided to stop before they entered the promised land. They believed God would not help them defeat the giants in Canaan. They believed God was not good to them. Because of their belief that God was mean, God acted mean to them. He allowed them to wander in the desert for forty years.

Our belief makes reality happen.

When we believe our spouse is unfair we begin to act in a certain way towards that person and soon, that person will act negatively toward us. If we believe our boss is mean and unfair, we begin to give nonverbal signals that cause our boss to be mean and unfair. It is said that more than 80% of communication is nonverbal. In other words our expression, our mannerisms, our demeanor in general communicate what our belief is. When we believe something, it tends to make it come true.
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Sounds impossible doesn’t it? Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book called “Positive Imaging: The Powerful Way to Change Your Life.” In it he writes about the powerful effect of imagining the outcome that you want in life. But he is not the only person to write about this. Dr. Denis Waitley became famous for Visual Motor Rehearsal training for Astronauts on the Apollo program and the Olympics. He said that athletes were hooked up to sophisticated equipment and imagined running their event in their mind. The same muscles fired as when they were actually running the event.

A famous study showed that when basketball players imagined playing basketball and shooting baskets it caused them to perform better on the court.

Dr. Rosenthal of Yale University demonstrated that when teachers believed their students were top performers, the students tended to perform the way their teachers imagined them to be and increased their performance in the classroom.

Since you are reading this blog I assume you have an interest in reading and possibly an interest in writing. It is probably easy for you to believe that anyone who writes a novel has to imagine it, daydream about it before actually putting words on paper. Many have become incredibly rich because they are good storytellers. They are good storytellers because they are good daydreamers.

J.K. Rowling became one of the richest women in the world because she has a great imagination and began writing the Harry Potter series while she was a single mother on welfare. She had been a secretary for Amnesty International, but spent so much time daydreaming about the Harry Potter book she lost her job, which turned out to be a really good thing.

Ian Fleming failed at many different jobs before he penned the James Bond series of books that later were made into movies that became favorites in most counties of the world.

Spend at least 7 minutes a day imagining that your dreams have come true. Work hard and they probably will!
Do you agree? Leave a comment.


English: Romaine lettuce (Lactuca sativa var. ...

A lady asked the grocery store worker if she could buy half a head of lettuce. The man said that she could not. But she really didn’t want to buy the whole head for just herself because she knew she wouldn’t eat it all and it would be wasted.

“Please ask your boss if I can buy half a head of lettuce” she asked. So he went into the back room where his boss was working, not realizing that she was following him. He said “Hey boss, some moron wants to know if she can buy half a head of lettuce.”

The boss’s eyebrows raised in surprise so much that the worker knew something was wrong. He turned slowly to see the customer behind him. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds and then he said “and this wonderful lady wants to buy the other half.”


This is difficult for some people to believe, but it is true, let me explain it here.

Behavioral scientists have found that 80% of communication is nonverbal. That means our expression, behavior and mannerisms convey more than our words. When a person believes something it changes his nonverbal communication. For example, if he believes his wife is being unfair to him, his nonverbal communication tips her off that he has a bad attitude. Once she senses his bad attitude, the natural reaction is to get a bad attitude back.

The same is true in dealing with your boss. If you feel she is unfair and mean, your attitude will start to show your belief in various different ways. Soon your boss will pick up on it and begin to treat you in a mean, unfair fashion.

But belief can change more than just the other person’s behavior. An athlete who really believes he can win an event will tend to work harder than one who doesn’t have much hope of winning. The belief instills persistence. If the athlete daydreams about winning it strengthens the belief and excites him enough to will to work harder.

William James, the Father of American Psychology said that the most important factor when you start a difficult undertaking is a strong belief that you can accomplish your task. Dozens of successful people who take the time to explain how they accomplished great things almost always talk about belief.

The more you believe you can do it, the more likely you are to achieve it.
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It seems that every person who accomplished big things in life understood the power of confidence, faith, positive thinking or whatever you want to call it. They understood the concept of imagining the goal as if it was already achieved. Henry Ford, the man who revolutionized the auto industry once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.” He believed he could help win World War II by designing a factory that could build a heavy bomber in an hour. Few people shared his confidence. But his confidence was contagious and he convinced the right people to build the factory and it produced a bomber every 55 minutes. Each bomber was made of over 1,200,000 parts. That means that over a million parts had to come together to make each bomber as they rolled off the assembly line. He really did help the US win the war.
Thomas Edison had only a few months of formal education but he became one of the best inventors the world has ever known. He had intense confidence that enabled him to keep trying after 10,000 failures to invent the electric light bulb. In fact, he considered failures to be successes because each time he failed it showed him one more way the invention couldn’t be built and moved him one step closer to his goal.

Winston Churchill said “Never, never, never give up.” Only a person with a lot of confidence can keep going when it gets tough. He was a man familiar with suffering, but the difficulties he faced in life forged him in the crucible so that he became tough enough to lead Great Britain through one of her most difficult times—World War II. His confidence gave the people strength when they were beginning to lose hope.

In an earlier post I wrote about how Arnold Schwarzenegger wrote about the power of confidence and imagining your goal being reached. Just as Schwarzenegger, Ford, Edison, and Churchill persisted in imagining and reaching their goals, we can do the same.

Thomas Edison built the world's first large-sc...

Thomas Edison built the world’s first large-scale electrical supply network. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Have confidence, keep imagining your dreams and goals. God is in the process of lining things up for you to achieve your God given goals.


WTF misunderstanding

Brad Stanton —  June 17, 2012 — 24 Comments

Young girl with smart phone

A lady read her daughter’s cell phone and found “WTF” on it. She asked her daughter why she wrote that and what it meant. The daughter said it meant “Well That’s Fantastic” because she didn’t want to get in trouble. You probably know it means “What The F&%k”. Unfortunately now the mother uses that all the time when she texts. The pastor sent her a text about some of his sermon ideas and she texted back “WTF.” A bit of a misunderstanding.


Eph 1:17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
The more we know God, the happier we are. The more we know God, the better we become. The more we love God, the more powerful we become. Does it seem immodest to talk like this? I don’t care. I have learned that we need every ounce of power, joy and goodness that we can get in order to live the life God wants us to live.

Jesus said he came so that we could not only live life, but live it more abundantly. (John 10:10) He is talking about the here and now, not the stuff you get in heaven. He came to make your relationships better, happier and more fulfilling. He came to give you strength when you feel run down, tired and weak. He came to give you even more strength when you feel strong, because you never have too much strength.

Do you believe in prayer? How many things/people are you praying for now, or in the last few days? If you really know God intimately you won’t be afraid to pray for many different things. And yes, it is ok to pray for yourself. Some of the most remarkable miracles I have read and heard about are those of people praying for money. Sound worldly? I don’t think so. Jesus talked more about money than heaven and hell.
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The Return of the Prodigal Son

The Return of the Prodigal Son (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Eph 1:3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”
You are blessed! It is difficult to understand how much we are blessed because our brain and eyes can’t see what our spirit can see. This verse says that we already have been blessed (past tense) in the heavenly realms with all sorts of blessings which are probably too wonderful for us to imagine while we are still in our body.

If you knew that you would inherit a million dollars in exactly one year, how would you feel? It would change you wouldn’t it? You would probably have a different outlook on life. You would probably be more upbeat than you are now. But why not feel that way now? You really are going to inherit millions of dollars after your body dies, not the kind of money we use here on earth, but blessings that last forever and are much better than the monopoly money we play with here.

In Psalm 119 it says “open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your word.” If we could  open our spiritual eyes and see the enormous, incredible blessings that God has waiting for us in heaven, it would totally blow our mind! You might as well start living your life happier now, because you may get the blessings very soon.

One of my favorite verses is in the story of the prodigal son. The father says something incredible, almost unbelievable to the son that stayed. When that son complained that he didn’t get a party the father said “Son, you have always been with me and everything I have is yours.” Meditate on that verse for 7 minutes and it will change your life. Think about it, everything God has is ours! His love, joy, peace, self-control and the other fruits of the spirit are ours in abundance. The more faith we have, the more fruit we have.

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Joel Osteen

Joel Osteen (Photo credit: cliff1066™)

Speak success over your people….
How often do you tell your children that they have seeds of greatness inside them? How often do you tell your spouse, your parents, your boss, your employee that you can do great things?

A pastor named Joel Osteen was told by his father over and over again that he would do great things in life. He didn’t quite believe it, but he took it to heart. I suppose after some years went by and he heard it many times he began to believe it. Later he got married and his wife told him the same thing. He worked as a camera man for his father’s ministry and didn’t think he would ever preach. He didn’t think he had it in him. But his wife would tell him over and over again that he would someday be the pastor of that big church.

Finally Joel’s father passed away and he was asked to preach. He didn’t think he could do it, but I’m sure in the back of his mind he remembered all those positive words spoken over him for so many years. Now Joel’s church is the largest in the USA and he speaks around the nation regularly. Several of his books have sold millions of copies and he can be seen on TV and the internet every week.

Barney in your heart?

Brad Stanton —  June 13, 2012 — 14 Comments

English: Holy Spirit Monastery Gardens near re...

English: Holy Spirit Monastery Gardens near retreat house (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Holy Spirit Cathedral (Minsk), Belarus

Holy Spirit Cathedral (Minsk), Belarus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Transfiguration Lodovico Carracci 1594

The Transfiguration Lodovico Carracci 1594 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A doctor was examining a little boy and trying to prevent him from getting scared, so when he used a tongue depressor to look down the boy’s throat he said “Hey maybe we can find Barney down there.”

The little boy replied back, “No, Jesus is in my heart, Barney is on my underwear.”

We are told from a very young age that if we are a Christian, Jesus lives in our hearts. We take it for granted and don’t really have any idea of the ramifications of it. But if you stop and think about it, it means that the Holy Spirit is woven together with your spirit like two different kinds of threads woven together to make one fabric.

You actually have the king of the universe living inside you! That means you have incredible power. It is safe to say that no Christian in the last thousand years has fully utilized the power of the Holy Spirit. Think about the things Elijah could do, he could split the waters apart so that people could cross, similar to Moses. He called down fire from heaven to burn up evil priests and prayed for drought. He didn’t die, but went up to heaven in a chariot of fire.

James 1:17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years.

James tells us that Elijah was a human, just like we are. He couldn’t do anything that we can’t do. Hard to believe, but it’s true. In John 14:12 Jesus said anyone who had faith in him would do even greater things that he did.

If you were the child of the president of the United States, you would have some advantages and opportunities others don’t. If you were the child of a very wealthy king, you would have even more advantages. If you are a child of the King of Kings, you have incredible advantages, but you aren’t using them, because you are limited by your lack of faith.


A Guide for the Married Man

A Guide for the Married Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from an email: NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it


Denzel Washington in the lobby of the Dorothy ...

Denzel Washington in the lobby of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion at the 62nd Annual Academy Awards, 3/26/90 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Denzel Washington finished college and was in the process of deciding what to do with his life. He was just hanging out in his mother’s beauty shop talking with people when a lady began to stare at him. Finally she took the hair dryer off her head and said “Someone get me a pencil and paper! I want to write what God is telling me about this young man.” She wrote some words on it and gave it to Denzel. He read it. It said that he would someday be famous and speak before millions of people. When he read it, something stirred inside him, telling him that this really was the truth. He put the paper in his wallet. That was back in the mid 1970’s. Now Denzel Washington is one of the top actors and film makers in the world.
The woman felt God was telling her something and she had the courage to tell Denzel. She gave him a spark of hope by giving him encouraging words. There were times he got discouraged and he would take the piece of paper out of his wallet and read it again. It gave him the hope he needed to not only survive, but to thrive.

How often do you tell your children that they have seeds of greatness inside them? How often do you tell your spouse, your parents, your boss, your employee that they can do great things?


My daughter's lips have nothing to do with this story, but they are just so cute, I had to add them here.

My daughter’s lips have nothing to do with this story, but they are just so cute, I had to add them here.

An elderly lady walked out of a grocery store with two bags of food. As she approached her car, she notice there were four tough looking young thugs in it. She was shocked. But she had lived in a tough part of town for too long to be bullied by these young punks. She dropped both bags of groceries right where she stood and pulled a hand gun out of her purse, pointed it at the thug in the drivers seat and shouted “Get out, I’ve got a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!”
The men’s jaws dropped for a moment, then they hurriedly jumped out of the car and dashed away. The old lady picked up her groceries and got into the car, found her key and put it into the ignition. To her surprise, it didn’t fit! Her car was parked farther down the row. She quickly got out of the car and brought her things to her own car, drove to the police station and reported to the sergeant what had happened.
As she stood explaining to him, he began to laugh so hard that she had to stop talking. She looked across and saw the four young men who were reporting their car stolen.



The White Cloud Mountain(Baiyun Mountain),Guan...

The White Cloud Mountain(Baiyun Mountain),Guangzhou(Canton) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In Guangzhou the sky is usually covered with smog. The monsoon rains clear this away daily, though, in the spring and summer months. During the monsoon season it is fun to go to one of several lovely lakes inside the city. Occasionally you can see wisps of fog rising off the lake in the morning, fireflies in the evenings, or the shimmering sparkle of the scorching sun on the water in the afternoon.
White Cloud Mountain overlooks the city. It gets its name because there are sometimes clouds covering the peak. It is not very tall as we have hiked up the road in less than two hours. The lush, green mountain is covered with many varieties of trees and shrubs. One can climb it and look into the city. There are small restaurants along the top of the mountain where one can stop and eat a meal while enjoying the scenery.
In one of the old sections of Canton is a college and middle school called Pei Zheng. It was originally a school built by Baptist missionaries called “Canton Baptist Academy.” It became one of the most famous schools in Southern China before 1949. Hong Kong, Macau (which used to be a colony of Portugal), and Canton all have a Pei Zheng School. Now the two-hundred-year old trees in the school courtyard have grown thick and Spanish Moss hangs from the twisted limbs. Some of the trees drop roots from the limbs, which grow into trunks of new trees. Guangzhou is a city of charm and excitement, great shopping and eating.


Guangzhou by night

Guangzhou by night (Photo credit: micmac9a)

It was sometimes overwhelming to see the crowds of people on the streets, knowing that very few of them knew Jesus. The most prominent religion in southern China, apart from atheism, is ancestor worship, a sect of Buddhism. There is often the eerie fragrance of incense being burned in various sorts of Buddhist practices of ancestor worship. Many people there claim to worship the ghosts of their ancestors. I often saw oranges, apples and other food that had placed in a bowl in front of a small statute with four incense sticks nearby. This is food offered to the spirits of ancestors.
The pink, yellow, green, or gray houses in Canton are very small and crowded together. The furniture is simple, usually made of wood. The bedroom has a bed and mosquito net shaped like a rectangular box. The walls, floor, and ceiling are cement, but the floors are often tiled with colorful square ceramic tiles.
Canton, like most Chinese cities, is a series of thousands of walled areas. Every school, apartment complex and factory are surrounded by thick cement walls which are often studded with broken glass at the top of the wall to discourage thieves. The old buildings are enchanting as they combine a mixture of modern international styles and traditional Chinese architecture with the four corners of the roof arching upwards.


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The Sunday school teacher was having lots of problems with the Smith twins. They were always in trouble. When she turned to write on the chalkboard, one would throw a paper wad or poke someone else in the back while the other was doing similar things. Finally she decided to put the fear of God in them and took one of them to the pastor’s office for a chat.

The pastor, assuming that the teacher had taught them that good boys accept God and he lives in their hearts, asked the boy where God was. The boy sat and thought for awhile, trying to remember anything the teacher had talked about that might give him a clue as to how to answer. The pastor asked again, and then again a third time. Each time the boy got a little more nervous. Finally the boy could take it no more and ran back to the classroom to find his twin.

“We’ve got to get out of here” he blurted out. “God is missing and they suspect us!”


Dim sum :Author: User:Das_O2 :Date: August 20t...

Dim sum :Author: User:Das_O2 :Date: August 20th, 2005 :Notes: Typical dim sum breakfast in Hong Kong. From left to right and top to bottom: shrimp dumplings (ha gau), jasmine tea, chicken and vegetable ‘congee’ (two bowls with spoons), hot sauce dip (red), steamed dumplings, rice noodle rolls with soy sauce (‘cheong fun’, on plate), steamed buns with pork filling (three, ‘char siu bau’). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Guangzhou is famous for food. Dim Sum is eaten in the morning. It is not one kind of food, but an assortment of many different low- priced delicacies such as wontons, hand-pulled noodles, tiny egg custard pies, specially flavored meat balls, duck eggs salted in the shell, special cuts of sautéed meat, pastries, and many other foods. It is fun to sit in a teahouse in the morning and drink tea and eat Dim Sum. Waitresses push carts loaded with small bamboo baskets full of many kinds of delicious foods.

Looking out the window of a tea house, one can see the beautiful sub-tropical foliage such as the wide green leaves of banana plants and the even larger elephant ear plants which can be several feet wide. There are slender bamboo stalks taller than buildings, orchids, palm trees, and a wide variety of plants and trees. Many of the parks have dozens of kinds of interesting trees, shrubs, plants and flowers. One of the beautiful things about Southern China is the abundance of bamboo. I have never seen more delicate leaves than the long, slender light-green bamboo leaves. Guangzhou was voted one of the top ten Garden Cities in the world. Because the temperature doesn’t go below freezing, they can grow many different kinds of plants and trees not found in other areas of the world.

Teaching English and studying Chinese was very fulfilling work there in Canton. The busy schedule didn’t leave much time for the missionary work, but I did the best I could. Chinese people who attended the meetings for a long time regularly became Christians, but the outpouring of the Holy Spirit there was nothing compared to what I would experience later.